Misbehavior or Message? 5 Common Myths About Children’s Behavior and Emotions

As a child therapist in Tustin, CA, I often meet parents who feel overwhelmed, confused, or even guilty about their child’s behavior. Tantrums, meltdowns, fears, and defiance can feel like red flags—but many times, these behaviors are misunderstood.

In fact, some of the most common ideas we hear about kids' big emotions are based on myths—not on how children actually develop or communicate.

So today, let’s bust 5 common myths about children’s behavior and emotional regulation—and talk about what your child may really be telling you.

Myth #1: “They’re just being dramatic.”

Truth: Children are not overreacting for fun.

Children have immature nervous systems and limited coping skills. What adults might brush off, kids feel with full intensity. Calling them “dramatic” dismisses real emotional needs and teaches them to suppress rather than express.

🧠 This is why play therapy is so powerful—it gives kids a safe space to process big emotions they can’t explain with words.

Myth #2: “They’re just doing it for attention.”

Truth: Yes, and that’s human.

Seeking attention = seeking connection. When children act out to be noticed, they’re really saying, “Do I still matter to you, even when I’m messy?” It’s not manipulation—it’s attachment in action.

❤️ In child-centered play therapy, we treat connection as a need, not a reward. That’s how children heal and grow.

Myth #3: “They should know better by now.”

Truth: Development isn’t a straight line.

Even if your 6-year-old handled bedtime like a champ last week, they might melt down tonight. Growth happens in cycles. Children may know what to do, but they can’t always do it when overwhelmed.

🌿 At Embracing Journey, we honor the ups and downs of development—without shame.

Myth #4: “They’re testing me.”

Truth: Children test limits to feel safe.

When your child pushes back, they’re often checking, “Are you still here for me when I’m not at my best?” Limits matter—but so does connection. Kids need both structure and softness.

🤲 In play therapy, we model calm boundaries that reassure, not punish.

Myth #5: “If I let them cry, I’m encouraging bad behavior.”

Truth: Emotions are not bad behavior.

Tears, anger, fear—these aren’t problems to fix, but signals to understand. When we shame kids for crying, we teach them that emotional honesty is unsafe.

🧸 In therapy, kids learn that all feelings are welcome—and that’s where true emotional regulation begins.

👶 What Your Child Is Really Saying

When your child throws a tantrum, clings to you, or says “no” a hundred times, they’re not trying to give you a hard time—they’re having a hard time.

Children’s behavior is communication. And when we stop to listen, instead of control, we discover that the real solution isn’t about fixing them…

It’s about helping them feel safe, seen, and understood.

👩‍👧 Need Support?

If you’re a parent in Tustin, CA looking for help with your child’s behavior or emotions, I’m here to walk with you. I offer child-centered play therapy, parent support, and bilingual therapy in English and Korean.

💬 Learn more at www.kidsembracingjourney.com

📍 Serving children and families in Tustin, Irvine, Orange, Newport Beach, and surrounding areas.